Please Allow me to Grieve!

To my sweet niece Rawand.

Ever since I heard of the tragic accident, I haven’t been able to write a single word. Words just don't come to me. While I let my faith guide me in this horrible path that I have found myself on since your passing, I try to find hope and make sense out of this senseless loss.

But I want you to know, my dearest Rawand that I am thinking of you, and remembering all the great times we had together over the years. The last time I saw you is still vivid in my mind. It was during your last week on this earth that I came to visit you at home. It was on Tuesday, the 28th of March. As always, you squeezed yourself next to your mom on her couch, down in the basement, and talked…and talked, always smiling and forever happy. We talked about my trip to Egypt and you were all excited for me. We also talked about your graduation in the month of May, and about your intended summer trip to Europe. As always, your soul shone through your beautiful smile and your mischievious eyes. I will never forget that day or that smile. You and I had a very special bond, for which I will always be so grateful. My sweet Roro, we all miss you so much, and Mom and Dad are longing to hold and touch you once more. O, my sweet Rawand, your Dad and Mom are in so much pain. They simply cannot understand why. Though faith is seeing me through, I question that too. Your brother Gabi is holding strong, but I know that his heart is aching. Did you know my sweet Roro that Gabi went to church last week? Did you know that he was looking for you in Jesus' words? O, my sweet Rawand. You are going to be so proud of Gabi, I know. Please, my angel, reach out to Mom and Dad. Extend your hand to Gabi. Let them know that you are okay. They have been waiting for a sign, and so have I? Did you see me sitting at your front doorsteps calling on you to come and talk to me? I searched for you in the flowers. I looked for your smile in the blue skies. I am still waiting for a sign to know that you are okay and that you are with God. Rest in peace my sweet niece. I shall love you forever.

Auntie Miranda